this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize