I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
