he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
