I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
we're so committed to being not committed
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
