RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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