So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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