it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
you never un-have a 4some
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
