You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You're a waste of cheezeits
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
