That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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