jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
