what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
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