Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
