And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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