Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
