Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
is wine microwaveable?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
