Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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