yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
