We won't sleep together?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
