I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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