At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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