I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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