Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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