My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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