I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
