Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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