We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
