I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
