Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Randomize
