also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
