i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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