It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
