just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
