im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize