never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
