what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize