rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
we should paint friendship bongs
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
