Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
