Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
