i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
