How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
