She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
