he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
