I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize