I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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