i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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