Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
