i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
