just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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