There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just had sex on a roof
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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