Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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