Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
