i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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