What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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