I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
