We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
