That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
True strength comes from lack of pants
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
