He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
