I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
