you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
