It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
