i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We left the knife in your bed.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
